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November 2023 Newsletter
Message from our President/CEO
As the tragic events in Israel/Palestine have unfolded over the last several weeks, many people in our local communities have expressed pain, sorrow, outrage, helplessness, and a host of other agonizing emotions. Tensions around this issue are heightened on college campuses, in workplaces, communities, and families. Antisemitic and anti-Arab and Muslim hate incidents are spiking across the country. It is difficult to imagine a peaceful end to such a dire situation.
My own life is intimately connected to this global story. I was born in Tel-Aviv, Israel, the daughter of an Israeli mother and an American Jewish father. I spent the first few years of my life living between Tel-Aviv and Fresno, California, before my family settled in Los Angeles, where I grew up among an Orthodox Jewish community.
Seeing the images of the horrific attack by Hamas in Israel was deeply personal for me. The attacks took place in places I have visited, places my relatives still live. And like many American Jews, I have a deep emotional connection to the region, known in our religion as a holy land, the Land of Milk and Honey. I share the pain of so many people in my local Jewish community, who are also impacted by heightened and ongoing incidents of antisemitism.
At the same time, seeing the images of the horrific attacks by the Israeli government in Gaza have been deeply personal for me as well. In recent years, I have developed strong connections with people in the local Palestinian community as well as their advocates and allies. It is embarrassing to admit that when I was growing up, I never heard the word Palestine. My upbringing shielded me from the realities of the experience of Palestinians and the structures of military occupation and political oppression under which they live. These relationships have opened my eyes to the painful reality of the Palestinian people, including the marginalized experience of Palestinian Americans living in the United States, who are estimated to number 250,000. Today I grieve for this community as deeply as I do for my own.
But in addition to these personal experiences, my life journey has also included walking the path of a peacemaker. As a mediator, restorative practices facilitator/Circle keeper, and diversity educator, I have been fortunate to develop another lens into the current situation, which is that dialogue is always possible. I know that is a hard message for many people to hear right now, while their grief and anger are still fresh and raw. But after 13 years of experience as a peacemaker, what I know for sure is that dialogue is possible, it is powerful, and it can change the world.
That is why I am proud to be offering an upcoming workshop called The Power of Dialogue: Transforming Hearts, Minds, and the World. The description and registration information are below. I hope you will join me to connect with other peacemakers who are navigating this journey.
I leave you with a quote from Rebecca Russo, senior director of higher education strategy at Interfaith America: “When many students are deep in grief and discourse is highly polarized, it is a difficult time to begin new dialogue and campus communities may need to prioritize compassion and care. Yet we have heard from campus leaders that in places where strong interfaith relationships existed already among students, staff, and faculty, dialogue has continued and people have been able to show care for each other across divides. Dialogue that invites the sharing of—and deep listening to— personal stories and experiences is particularly effective when political tensions are high.”
Wishing you peace, strength, and hope during this season.
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In peace,
Shira May
President/CEO
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The Power of Dialogue:
Transforming Hearts, Minds, and the World
Monday, November 20, 2023
6:00-8:00pm
Zoom workshop
At this time in history when political tensions are high, what the world needs now is peacemakers with the courage, confidence, and skills to create safe and brave spaces for dialogue, where people can come together to speak and listen from the heart and be transformed by what they hear.
This workshop is designed for anyone who sees themselves as a peacemaker, or aspiring peacemaker, in their community. Together we will share tools for creating safe and brave spaces for dialogue, modeling and inviting vulnerability, and fostering the essential peacemaker qualities of hope, optimism, and courage.
Donations of $10-25 are requested, but not required.
Register in advance for this meeting:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZEpce-rrTkvEtVa2owKrRQx_yKuGllcMAKG
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Basic Mediation Training
Trainer: Kim Reisch
November 28-30,
December 4-5
Notre Dame Retreat House,
Canandaigua
This 35-hour training introduces participants to the theory, principles, and practice of mediation in the Transformative Mediation framework to prepare them to mediate community disputes as a volunteer with the Center for Dispute Settlement.
Registration Info:
$1,000 - General public
$200 - New approved volunteers of the Center
Scholarships are available for members of underrepresented communities.
Registration deadline is November 17, 2023 Space is limited!
For questions, contact Ronalyn Pollack: rpollack@cdsadr.org
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Kinship Mediation Program Renewed
The Center is pleased to announce that our Kinship Mediation Program was granted a contract renewal from the Monroe County Department of Human Services. This continuation of support will fund mediation services for approximately 40 families, as referred by the Office of Child and Family Services (OCFS).
Kinship refers to arrangements in which a relative or close family friend assumes the full-time responsibility of caring for a child. This program seeks to connect kinship caregivers and biological parents early in the placement process to support stability and the establishment of boundaries and expectations.
This is in support of the ultimate goal of increased permanency through either reunification with the parent or another permanent arrangement with the kinship caregiver.
In mediation, parties may discuss and agree upon a variety of topics. For kinship cases, the needs of caregivers and parents often include communication, visitation arrangements, parenting styles, discipline, school attendance, permanency planning, and reunification. The program utilizes a child-centered approach, ensuring the child’s needs and wishes are included in the process as well.
By supporting efficient and peaceful dispute resolutions, the Kinship Mediation Program aims to reduce the psychological, emotional, and sometimes physical toll of conflict and provide the opportunity to transform their conflict interaction. We are grateful for our partnership with OCFS and the resources to continue offering this service to families in Monroe County.
If you would like to learn more about the Kinship Mediation Program, please contact Donna Durbin, Director of Monroe County Programs at ddurbin@cdsadr.org or Julie Burke, Case Manager, Monroe County at jburke@cdsadr.org.
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Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) Staff Training
On October 18th, CDS staff, along with staff from our neighbor in the Western region, the Center for Resolution and Justice (CRJ), convened at the Monroe County Hall of Justice for an all-day training on Intimate Partner Violence (IPV).
As a state policy, Community Dispute Resolution Centers (CDRCs) are required to screen all mediation cases for intimate partner violence. This training was specifically designed for staff who conduct such screenings.
The training was led by Bonnie Allen from the NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence (OPDV), and co-facilitated by staff at the Office of Alternative Dispute Resolution (OADR).
For our staff, the in-person professional development event was a welcome opportunity to connect with old and new friends, reflect on our practices, and learn from colleagues across our region.
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Native American Heritage Month
November is National Native American Heritage Month. Last month we ran a piece on October's Indigenous Peoples' Day. We invite you to learn more about Columbus and the Doctrine of Discovery, an imperative which rendered the indigenous peoples of every colonized nation non-human in order to justify the seizing of their lands:
https://www.ictinc.ca/blog/christopher-columbus-and-the-doctrine-of-discovery-5-things-to-know
As co-chair of RELC, I am happy to hold space open for folks to express thoughts or feelings around these matters.
I wish you all a joyful harvest season.
-Maia Taub, co-chair Racial Equity Leadership Committee (RELC)
mtaub@cdsadr.org
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Celebrating International Day for Tolerance
by Subrata Paul,
Racial Equity Leadership Team (RELC)
"Tolerance is respect, acceptance and appreciation of the rich diversity of our world's cultures, our forms of expression and ways of being human." UNESCO's 1995 Declaration of Principles on Tolerance
The founders of the United Nations looked to tolerance as a key to peaceful coexistence for the peoples of the world. Their cautionary words are as true then as they are now. The United Nations adopted November 16 to celebrate the International Day for Tolerance which was founded to encourage respect among various people regardless of culture, language, religion, or ethnicity as well as generate public awareness of the dangers of intolerance.
People are naturally diverse - tolerance recognizes universal human rights and fundamental freedoms of others.
There are five key principles required to overcome intolerance:
1. Law – including enforcement of human rights laws and ensuring equal access to legal justice.
2. Education - endeavors to build tolerance through education is a life-long experience which succeeds when those endeavors reach all age groups and take place in all venues.
3. Access to information – development of policies that generate and promote press freedom and allow the public to differentiate between facts and opinions.
4. Individual awareness - bigotry, stereotyping, stigmatizing, insults, and racial jokes are examples of individual expressions of intolerance. People can learn how to become aware of the link between behavior and intolerance in society.
5. Local solutions - solutions to global problems are mainly local, even individual. We are all part of the solution. Tools teaching nonviolent action are available to all who want to put an end to intolerance.
Mediation is one skill that can be used to reduce intolerance. An impartial mediator, using their skills of active listening and respectful dialogue, can facilitate relationship building and encourage respect amongst diverse individuals. Consider ways that your skills as a mediator can help reduce intolerance in the world and create a more cohesive, peaceful society.
For more information, see Declaration of Principles on Tolerance - Legal Affairs (unesco.org), https://www.unesco.org/en/legal-affairs/declaration-principles-tolerance
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Volunteer of the Month
Darlene Tschorke
Date Certified: 2019
About Darlene: Darlene is a dedicated mediator who strives to learn as much as she can with each mediation. She makes herself available anytime of the week which is a tremendous help. She learns as much as she can from debriefings after mediation sessions. Darlene is a certified divorce mediator and always strives to make sure the parties are informed and are satisfied with their decisions. Darlene attends our regular in-services and other trainings as much as she can. Darlene is part of the Reflective Practices Group which meets once a month and she looks forward to have the opportunity to discuss mediations that she has done . Darlene is so dedicated that even when she is at her cabin in Canada she finds a place where there is WIFI to participate in the continuing education. We are so glad to have such a dedicated volunteer!
What is something you want people to know: One of Darlene's favorite things to do is travel. She is greatly looking forward to her 50/50 trip in August of 2024. She is going to Hawaii to visit our 50th and last state and while there celebrate her 50th Wedding Anniversary.
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